smileycynic: I just don't relate to small talk, even NT small talk ;)
thalassan: hehe I noticed ;)
smileycynic: ?
smileycynic: you mean at the S & B?
smileycynic: I think that was mostly just me trying not to say anything so as not to show how bad a mood I was in ;)
thalassan: you've said such before... and I mean I've just observed it in general over course of knowing you... not thinking of particular time
smileycynic: ah
smileycynic: yeah
thalassan: you tend to enter a conversation once the preliminaries are over and everyone is digging into a particular topic
smileycynic: interesting observation :)
smileycynic: and you're also very quiet ;)
thalassan: yes :)
smileycynic: its fun when you're around, because we can just play games while other people talk ;)
thalassan: I wait till I know what the best point of attack is and how to defend myself and retreat if necessary ;)
smileycynic: lol ;)
thalassan: yes I agree :)
thalassan: it might be healthier if I didn't think of conversations as battles
thalassan: ;)
smileycynic: lol :)
smileycynic: I'd better get going... time to go mess with my brain ;)

[...]

Having spent a lot of time in groups lately, I've been thinking about this a lot ;) One hypothesis I have is that I just think much more in abstracts than concretes, but that doesn't work well in groups. Hence why as thalassan says, I wait until a more narrow topic has been settled on to speak, because then analysis is more effective. Another frustrating thing about groups is that even when a topic has been settled on, its very often not something I'm interested in ;)

And since I am not good at directing let alone redirecting group conversation, I usually just end up bored, agitated, and hoping for escape asap ;) I think the agitation comes from feeling like I have to sit still, try to pay attention, and look interested. I'm not very good or successful at any of this, and doing as well as I do takes a lot of effort, hence why I'm always so worn out after group discussions ;)

Its especially difficult when there's a group conversation about something that I consider important. In such scenarios, I generally have a choice between being quiet, or making a very active effort to override my reservations. When making that effort, I have less energy to devote to other aspects of conversation, such as being careful about what words I choose so as to make my thoughts more accessible to other people. Especially since group conversation tends to be fast, and I have a hard time communicating in general ;) (I often find that I understand concepts, but have a hard time putting them into simple sentences, and do not have the time or attention (mine and other peoples ;) to explain in more elaborate ways ;)

I don't have such problems in all groups, for one, I've been very happy with the all girls craft day I've been hosting on occasion, largely because as with playing with thalassan, I can duck in and out of conversation w/out feeling pressure to be attentive the whole time and whatnot. Also the conversation tends to drift in ways that I find interesting pretty often. Same with game day, although there's very little non-game related conversation, which makes it both easier to deal with and a lot less social ;)