It seems to be what I've fallen into studying over the past couple of years ;) I scoff at thinking of myself as a "socialite," I'm far from fashionable anyway, but in a sense that's what I've been becoming in an odd way in some geeky circle ;) I think its a phase, at least in how much energy I spend on it. Its odd, because its not something I feel I can list as an accomplishment, "something I've done," but its been no small endeavor and quite rewarding, both in direct and indirect results.

This is largely due to my experience living in Austin. Prior to that I'd lived in California all of my life. I was an only child, in an isolated spot in an isolated neighborhood. I'd been mostly a loner and/or outsider socially prior to that point, and when I had a boyfriend, which was pretty constantly from about age 17 on, I spent the vast majority of my social time with that one person.

In Austin I had a very different experience: community! There were large social gatherings of people whose company I enjoyed. In six months I had a larger circle of friends there than ever in my twenty-some years prior.

So when I moved back to CA, I decided to try to build something similar myself. It of course helps to be living in a group house, but its taken me a long time to feel accepted and really a part of it. Everyone already had their own lives and friends, and while it definitely was community to me, it didn't fill the same void as what I'd experienced prior.

I wanted to spend time on a regular (a few times a week) basis with people whom I enjoyed similar activities and felt close with. Not only because it increased my happiness, but because it helped even with my relationship with Patri. I realized that I don't get everything I need from one person, and that both that person and I are happier when I am getting what I need from other people and places, especially since it takes pressure off of him to try to cover areas which are difficult or uninteresting for him that other people with interests similar to my own find enjoyable. Having "girl talk" was a big one. My girlfriends are generally happy to engage me in it, but Patri was not ;) Reading Tannen's book really brought this to light for both of us, and we've been much happier since ;)

Anyway, while no Austin community, I've been pretty successful with finding people whom I enjoy and who enjoy spending time with me :)

And I've also run into a lot of related difficult situations. Its been very tricky to figure out where and how to draw boundaries. When to be exclusive and when not. Who I want to devote my time and energy to. I've made a lot of mistakes, or perhaps, not handled situations as well as I'd have liked. And had a lot of stress over it... but I stress a lot in general, so if not that it would probably be something else ;) And in general, I am probably near the least stressed I've ever been ;) Having Patri and having good friends both help a lot :)

I'm learning although I still feel that I have a long way to go. But isn't that the case with everything ;)

Its been almost two years now since I started teaching piano lessons. I've been "out of commission" a lot over the past few months with pregnancy: frequent nausea, general tiredness, and hormone induced emotional craziness take a lot out of a person ;) But I've found that I'm experienced enough with teaching at this point that I've been able to handle my admittedly small load of students just fine during this time. I no longer need to spend very much non-teaching time thinking about teaching, and have pretty much gone on auto-pilot.

Of course, not while teaching: my students do each have my full attention for that half hour of my time that is theirs, and I think I'm doing just as good a job as ever in that sense. But I've already researched books, have a good idea of how difficult various songs are, know the quirks of my various students and how to work with them pretty well, and am fairly confident of the paths I'm guiding each of my students on. I've also been handing over the responsibility of buying books to the parents rather than making special trips and asking to be reimbursed, and other things of that nature.

And I will have to be going off auto-pilot again shortly, as recital time is coming up again, and I need to get to work on reserving a venue and preparing songs. But while I would like to find a better place, I can always fall back on the same one I used last year, which would already save a lot of work, and most of my students have been in my last recital and won't be quite as stressed or need quite as much preparation. And of course, I won't be playing this time ;) I will probably have a guest performer or two instead of devoting 40+ hrs to learn a super challenging piece myself ;)

So yeah, I think "being social" will hopefully be like that too in the not so distant future: I will still "be there" when I'm there, but won't dedicate so much energy to problem solving when not there ;)

Hopefully largely for reason of experience, although if not for that, certainly for the amount of energy I will not have for it once I have a baby ;)