That I'm pregnant and getting married in a week!!! ;) And that I still don't really feel in control of my life, like I'm just playing a game of make-believe and that someone will "wake me up" and remind me to go back to some sort of reality that I'm supposed to be in that I of course do not enjoy....

But that's not going to happen :) I'm marrying a guy whom I adore, and while my internal struggles will probably always make life difficult, especially when augmented by first trimester pregnancy hormones, I'm living a life that I enjoy, that is very different than what I've felt forced into most of my life.

I have concrete goals, rather than some vague need to do something worthwhile, and they're my goals. I don't have to get up early, no one yells at me every day, or ever for that matter, to clean my room or get out of the shower, or really at all, and the biggest concern in regards to me of the person most concerned with my well being is that I'm happy. Who would have guessed it possible? Certainly not me ;)

Also heartening today was listening to Patri's step mom today talking about pregnancy: she referred to the first trimester as the difficult emotional one, the second as the best, and the third as the one that's physically difficult. I'm really looking forward to getting through the end of the emotionally difficult one, I think I can handle physical difficulty much better mentally, although its still fun to complain a little; I enjoy feeling that I'm handling something difficult ;)