I'm quite happy with the progress of my new years resolutions, but things are changing, and its time for an update ;) Here are my stated year and three year goals from the beginning of the year:

Old Goals, Progress and Modifications

What do you want to accomplish this coming year?
Become a better pianist, qualify for a provisional membership for the music association, continue to improve my pottery skills and try new projects, finish the house dish set, get pregnant (later part of the year), take vitamins and work out regularly

What do you want to accomplish over the next 3 years?
start a family with patrissimo, maintain a happy stable relationship with him, be a good mom, continue teaching and improving as a teacher, continue improving as a potter, take music and psychology classes, take care of my body

I'm quite happy with my medium term goal progress, and getting pregnant earlier, while more desirable, has changed my short term goal structure ;)

Piano personal improvement stuff is going on hold for a while, at least until after the wedding and possibly longer. I do still intend on getting the provisional membership, but I also intend on taking my time about it ;) I do intend on continuing to teach lessons throughout my pregnancy, although I may have call in or cut the ones who don't come to my house.

I'm *mostly* finished with the house dish set (Dawn's mug didn't make the firing so I'm making two mugs for her "just in case," and because it doesn't hurt for her to have an extra one ;) And I do feel that my pottery skills are improving. I've given away pretty much all of my pottery I've made so far sans the set, so I haven't done any selling, so as soon as I'm done making a special project for Patri, I intend on starting to save up some work so that I will have something for next year's student sale. I may also start looking into other places to sell.

I have been very good about taking vitamins, and hiking and rowing/climbing twice a week. Having work out partners has made all the difference in the world. It gets me to go even when I'm feeling lazy, and I also get to hang out and chat with my friends and be doing something at the same time ;) I have not been perfect about diet, but I've been very good about staying away from refined sugar, which has helped a lot for keeping my moods stable and feeling better.

And of course, I'm thrilled about getting married and having a baby on the way :) I've taken both music and psychology classes, and a child psych class in particular, from which I've learned a lot of valuable information that I think will help with my goal of being a good mom :)

New Goal

I aim to better direct my focus.

I think this forgiveness stuff applies to a lot more than just forgiveness. Being annoyed or angry about something is sadly something I think I'm drawn toward, as with many people. Being judgmental is stupid ;) Not to say that one shouldn't make judgments or behave appropriately in face of danger or irritation, but there is no point in getting upset about something beyond one's control. Other than the emotional high of "feeling intensely." But while satisfying in the short term, I think its very unhealthy and unproductive in the long.

So, I'm going to actively work to turn my focus away from things and people's issues that irritate me, and toward things and people I enjoy. It was hard to identify and odd that this isn't natural ;) Comforting although still disturbing that I know I am far from the only one with this issue. Of course, I don't aim to turn my focus away from irritation that I think I have a decent chance of fixing, but I don't think that is the case for most of what I'm thinking of.

Another way in which I aim to redirect my focus is by cutting down my livejournal addiction ;) Without getting into how stupidly ocd I've been about it I've been growing as my friends list has grown, I will say that I aim to not check my friends page (or other journals) more than once a day. I'll still post and even respond to comments at will though, since I can do that through email without browsing ;)

Instead, I aim to start reading fiction! ;) No suggestions needed at this point, I have a long list of both fiction and non-fiction to keep me entertained for years ;) I generally try to read non-fiction when I do read, because I have this stigma that I always need to be doing something productive if possible and therefore feel guilty when reading fiction. This is ridiculous in light of how unproductively I spend much of my time on other things that I have not mentally labelled as such ;) So, I'm going to try to give up on my silly guilt feelings about enjoyment, and therefore give myself the option to choose things I actually enjoy to spend my time on ;) I also would still love to devote more time to more productive pursuits, but I will consider that a more medium term goal ;) I've found that the more I release guilt related internal pressures the easier it becomes to engage in more productive goals in my life. I think this trend will continue.

While checking lj once in a while is fun, obsessively checking is just... obsessive ;) Really, its a show of discontinuity. Doing a repetitive task as a way of avoiding something I feel I should do. But no one is forcing me to do anything, and my guilt is all internal. Time to once again focus on listening inside and figuring out what rules I really want to have, that will make me happy and fulfilled. Since my decision this evening, I've done my laundry, gone to the grocery store with Dawn, and sorted my large stack of mail ;) Of course, the boy being out of town is also a definite factor in my late night mail sorting ;)