From the book "Forgive for Good" by Dr. Fred Luskin. His writing style is very repetitive, which makes it a hard read for me, but he makes many worthy points. Here are a few excerpts. There are a few more good ones that were too lengthy for me to pull just a few lines to make sense from, so if it sounds like this stuff applies to you, I recommend the book ;)

(p 77)
Of the seven deadly sins, anger is possibly the most fun.
To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back--in many ways it is a feast fit for a king.
The chief drawback is what you are wolfing down is yourself.
The skeleton at the feast is you.
by Frederick Buechner

(p 74)
Forgiving is not the same as forgetting. You do not want to forget what happened. In fact, you want to remember it. First you remember to ensure that something bad does not happen again. Sarah made a vow to herself that if her date drank too much or admitted to previous drinking problems she was not going to go out with him again. Sarah was cautious with her dates as she remembered how she had ignored the early signs of Jim's drinking.

Also, you remember what happened so that you can pat yourself on the back for forgiving. You deserve praise for forgiveness, for letting something go and moving on. You have succeeded on a difficult journey, and that is cause for celebration. You remember your hurts from the point of view of healing, not from that of helpless victimization. You do not need to dwell on what happened or get a swelled head because you have forgiven. You do want to acknowledge the courage and perseverance that led to overcoming the wounds of the past.

(p 87)
In the past, the major psychological risk factor for heart disease was thought to be Type A behavior. Early studies had shown that people who were Type A had a greater risk of suffering a heart attack. The thinking at the time was that the Type A person was always in a hurry, overly competitive, excessively hardworking, and easily angered. The mix of these traits was thought to be the the cause of the enhanced cardiovascular risk. However, a variety of research studies showed that hostility is the dangerous component of Type A personality. Being a workaholic or always in a hurry, when not accompanied by anger, does not pose a risk to your health.

(p 110-112)
In chapter 6 I defined forgiveness as the feeling of peace that emerges when you:

• take a hurt less personally
• take responsibility for how you feel
• become a hero instead of a victim in the story you tell.

[...] In my definition of forgiveness there are three components. The most critical component is the story we tell. When we tell a story of victimization we have already taken something too personally and are blaming the offender for how we feel. When you tell the story of your heroic overcoming of an injustice, you will naturally blame less and take things less personally. However, it is very difficult to move directly to changing a well-rehearsed grievance story.

To avoid that problem, I suggest you begin by taking responsibility for how you feel. We have to remember that we are responsible for our emotional experience. Our past is not responsible for our present feelings. Just because something unpleasant occurred in our past or may occur in our future does not mean that day after day should be ruined. [...]

Remember, taking responsibility for how you feel does not mean you have to like what happened. Responsibility only means we are the one in control of our emotions and behavioral reactions. Forgiveness is not a focus on what happened in the past and neither is remaining upset or holding grudges. You may have been hurt in the past, but you are upset today. Both forgiveness and grievances are experiences you have in the present. Our parents may have been rotten in 1978. That does not mean on July 7, 2002 at 4:15pm we have to feel upset. [...]

I want to make clear that taking responsibility for how you feel does not mean that what happened is your fault. You did not cause your parents to hurt you or your lover to cheat on you. You did not cause the car to hit you or the illness to strike you. You did not cause your boss to be grouchy nor did you cause the weather to stink on your vacation. While you did not cause these things to happen, you are responsible for how you think, behave, and feel since those experiences occurred. It is your life, and they are your reactions and emotions to manage.

Taking responsibility means first and foremost that even though we are hurt, we continue to make the effort to appreciate the good in our life. When we understand that pain is a normal part of life, we make the effort to keep our hurts in perspective. I challenge the common tendency to feel that our experience of hurt is more real than our experience to feel good. I challenge the tendency to assert that painful experiences are somehow deeper than rapture over the beauty of a sunset or the love we feel for our children.

Many of us are renting more space to rehashing our grievances than focusing on gratitude, love, or appreciation of nature. My central message here is when you bring more positive experiences into your life, your hurts will diminish in importance.