The chapter I'm reading now touches on the punishment bit discussed earlier. From "Infants and Children" by Laura E. Berk:

Effects of Punishment - Many parents are aware that yelling at, slapping, and spanking children are ineffective disciplinary tactics. A sharp reprimand or physical force to restrain or move a child is justified when immediate obedience is necessary--for example, when a 3-year-old is about to run into the street. In fact, parents are most likely to use forceful methods under these conditions. When they wish to foster long-term goals, such as acting kindly toward others, they tend to rely on warmth and reasoning (Kuczynski, 1984). And parents often combine power assertion with reasoning in response to serious transgressions, such as lying or stealing (Grusec & Goodnow, 1994).

When used frequently, however, punishment promotes only immediate compliance, not lasting changes in behavior. For example, Robbie's parents often punished by hitting, shouting, and criticizing. Robbie usually engaged in the unacceptable behavior again as soon as his parents were out of sight. Many studies confirm that the more physical punishment children experience, the more likely they are to develop serious, lasting mental health problems. These include weak internalization of moral rules, depression, antisocial behavior, and poor academic performance during childhood and adolescence, and criminality, depressive and alcoholic symptoms, and partner and child abuse in adulthood (Brezina, 1999; Gershoff, 2002a).

Harsh punishment has undesirable side effects. First, when parents spank, they often do so in response to children's aggression (Holden, Coleman, & Shmidt, 1995). Yet the punishment itself models aggression! Second, children who are frequently punished soon learn to avoid the punishing adult. When Robbie's parents entered the room, Robbie braced himself for something unpleasant and kept his distance. Consequently, they had little opportunity to teach him desirable behaviors. Finally, because punishment "works" temporarily, it offers immediate relief to adults, and they are likely to punish with greater frequency over time, a course of action that can spiral into serious abuse. Indeed, corporal punishment--the use of physical force to inflict pain but not injury--and physical abuse of children are closely linked (Gershoff, 2002a).

[...]

Positive Discipline - The most effective forms of discipline encourage good conduct--by building a mutually respectful bond with the child, letting her know ahead of time how to act, and praising mature behavior (Zahn-Waxler & Robinson, 1995). When preschoolers have cooperative relationships with parents, they show firmer conscience development--behaving responsibly, playing fairly in games, and considering others' welfare (Kochanska & Murray, 2000). Parent-child closeness leads children to want to meet parental demands out of a sense of commitment to the relationship.

Consult Applying What we Know on page 376 for ways to discipline positively. Notice that parents who use these strategies focus on long-term social and life skills--cooperation, problem solving, and consideration of others. As a result, they greatly reduce the need for punishment.

_{The strategies listed on page 376 are:}

• Use transgressions as opportunities to teach: When a child engages in harmful or unsafe behavior, use induction, which motivates children to make amends and behave prosocially.
• Reduce opportunities for misbehavior: On a long car trip bring back-seat activities that relieve children's restlessness. At the supermarket, converse with children and permit them to assist with shopping. As a result, children learn to occupy themselves constructively when options are limited.
• Provide reasons for rules: When children appreciate that rules are fair to all concerned, not arbitrary, they strive to follow the rules because they are reasonable and rational.
• Arrange for children to participate in family routines and duties: By joining with adults in preparing a meal, washing dishes, or raking leaves, children develop a sense of responsible participation in family community life and acquire many practical skills.
• When children are obstinate, try compromising and problem solving: When a child refuses to obey, express understanding of the child's feelings ("I know its not fun to clean up"), suggest a compromise ("You put those away, I'll take care of these"), and help the child think of ways to avoid the problem in the future. Responding firmly but kindly and respectfully increases the likelihood of willing cooperation.
• Encourage mature behavior: Express confidence in children's capacity to learn and appreciation for effort and cooperation, as in "You gave that your best!" "Thanks for helping!" Adult encouragement fosters pride and satisfaction in succeeding, thereby inspiring children to improve further.
• Be sensitive to children's physical and emotional resources: When children are tired, ill, or bored, they are likely to engage in attention-getting, disorganized, or otherwise improper behavior as a reaction to discomfort. In these instances, meeting the child's needs makes more sense than disciplining.