It seems like we all have an image we feel we should be presenting. Even those who don't seem to care about image ;) There are many different thoughts passing through, but somehow some seem appropriate to share and others don't, and what is appropriate to each individual varies greatly. Even what we choose to share that is inappropriate varies quite a bit :)

A pattern I've been noticing more lately with myself is being self-depreciating in a defensive manner. I tend to say how something or other I do sucks or isn't as good as I'd like or other things of that nature as a way to... maybe get people to have empathy for me. I feel insecure, so I do that, like fishing for compliments, and sometimes it is, but its often just apologetic.

Its an annoying behavior, because I'm very self-conscious, people generally don't care whether or not I'm good at things, and generally the only effect is to make other people more self-conscious: since I try to hold myself to such high standards I tend to cause them to feel judged similarly. And sadly, they are sometimes even correct. Because of all the pressure I put on myself, I sometimes feel resentful when others don't put in similar effort.

Of course, its all about gradients and levels, balance. Some consciousness of self is most definitely good. Going overboard isn't. Some carefreeness is great and causes people to enjoy your company. Lack of consideration often drives people away.

I know the direction I would like to go in at this point in time: being less self conscious. Its less work and stress for me, easier on others who have to deal with me, and makes life more enjoyable for all involved ;) I'm working on it, conscious of myself trying to relax ;)

I do wonder if some of those sorts of things can only really happen by virtue of a worn down will ;) With family and significant others people tend to show more of their personality just by virtue of being around those people more and it being too tiring to hide. Its certainly true to some degree with community, people you live with and/or see a lot of. Something in between friends that you see once in a while and significant others that you are more intimate with.